Category Archives: Doubt

Full-Time Musician

The title says it all. I’m officially a full-time musician. After being laid

off from my full-time job, my wife and I made the decision for me to

pursue my music. I’ve never done anything this unsure and unstable.

It’s like I’m in the ocean, and there’s no land in sight. I don’t know

which way to swim, if I’m surrounded by sharks, or if I’ll ever be

rescued. Right now I’m looking for land, for shallow water, for a boat,

and anything that floats. I’m not drowning, but a bit overwhelmed at

the moment.

Here are a couple simple ways you can be a life vest at the moment:

  1. You can like/ follow me on social media (links below). It might
    not feel like much but it means a lot.

    1. Facebook: to stay up-to-date.
    2. Instagram: to stay up-to-date with cool visuals.
    3. Twitter: to stay up-to-date with what the kids are doing.
  2. You can invite your friends to like/ follow as well.

 

That’s all for now. The game is afoot.

 

 

 

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , ,

Song 4 – “City of Angels”

With the title “City of Angels,” you might think this

song captures the beauty and highlights of Los

Angeles. I took the ironic approach, and decided

to cover some of the darker themes of Los Angeles.

Just to clarify, I don’t want to come off as if I’m bashing

L.A., because these themes and issues can be true of

any city. I also don’t want people to think the darkness

is “out there” somewhere in the city, but the darkness

spreads to you and me. It’s in all of us. We might think

our bodies are cities of angels, but when I look into the

heart of my city, I’m no angel.

The verses of this song point out the dark aspects of

L.A., but the chorus starts out affirming the “City of Angels”

slogan. The last line of the chorus ends with a hint of doubt

that maybe L.A. isn’t what he thought it was. Maybe it’s not

the “City of Angels.”

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Song 3 – “Los Angeles II”

This song is a bit of a continuation from the last one.

The individual is trying to deal with love, and trying

to deal with the implications of sacrificial love. Each

line starts with a question, and then makes a statement

based off his question. These questions reveal the man’s

doubts and fears of trying to love someone, and being loved

by someone. He knows his weaknesses and short comings,

and wonders if they will be too much, and will hinder him

from ever being loved.

It’s the fear we all have to some degree. We don’t want to

die alone, and go through this life without the love of at least

one person. It’s also the longing of being known, but also the

fear of being known. Will the other person use this knowledge

for my good or for their gain? Will this person be scared away,

or will they stay anyway?

It’s a song of questions, doubts, longings, inner agony, and

living through the unknown. Musically it’s repetitive and goes

in cycles. I don’t think I did this intentionally but maybe

subconsciously. This is totally how my brain works when I’m

looking for answers or struggling with doubts and fears. It’s

an endless cycle causing me to lose sleep and lose track of

reality. I get swept away in the monotonous cycle of questions

wondering when it will cease.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,
Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: